I am stuck in a moment, and it is in a room; empty within my heart
The door beckons me to enter as i walk past it most days
But today i say yes to the invitation
I slowly slide the door across the soft carpet carefully placed beneath my feet
quietly, carefully, such as the door to a nursery should be opened
The tears slide down the skin of my inner heart
They leak out of the windows i open to let the release bring light to my dark
I stand alone
Watching my daughter
Caressing her cheek
Squeezing her tight to my breast
Kissing her tiny face one last time before they wheel her slowly, screamingly, silently
Away from my burning to love arms
Away from my dying to leak life breasts
Away from the warmth of a mother that cries to be needed
I should have known
There will never be enough tears sown in the month of march
So i will walk thru the month
Day after day
Wet cheeks summoning me
Lovingly visit the sorrow inside
Recapture the inner secrets of griefs lovely face
And then i stand up and walk out of this room, and out into the soft sun of spring
The warmth gently caresses my face and lingers close to my heart
I am loved
It is a kinder gentler love than i could have known had i never known the hard cruel pain of sorrow
It is here i take a deep breath
And i feel most alive, living my life like eternity is where i live and heaven is coming down to earth
Here i am free to run across an open field screaming- "For the king! For His kingdom!"
Selah
