My
sweet little Mercy,
yesterday was one of those days i had beyond hoped you would make it to, and one of my
friends had a baby girl...
The air that is knocked out of me this morning is
deep deep pain i cannot put into words, even groaning doesn't seem enough for
it...
So silence has been a friend today.
I
am so beyond happy for her, and see the glory of God in giving life to such a
precious little one!
But in that same breath i feel the loss of you
accentuated in her arrival...
Mommy would be almost 32 weeks now and you would
be developed enough to try and keep your heart beating and your lungs
breathing...
But it is here in this choice i find i am comforted in knowing my
friend has been blessed by the same Jesus who blesses me and who spared my life
and who holds you close even now...
I
look out over the horizon and at the moment it is like a wide open sea before
me
These dreams i keep attempting to release, and just as i think i may have
said goodbye to the last one, a new one confronts the tendrils of my heart...
I sometimes hate that I feel this deeply, and that I grieve
this way, I almost am ashamed sometimes…
But it isn't constant anymore and it is in the waves i have the opportunity to embrace all you were to me and rejoice that i have the privilege of grieving and enjoying what your short life was to me and to your siblings and your daddy...
Today i pray these verses over my life and love you with every breath i breathe today...
Genesis 49:26
“The God of thy father shall be
thy helper, and the Almighty shall bless thee
with the blessings of heaven above, with the blessings of the deep that lieth
beneath, with the blessings of the breasts and of
the womb.”
Exodus 23:26
“NONE shall miscarry or be barren
in your land, I will fulfill the number of your days”
